A most annoying feeling
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
That frog in my throat must have decided to throw a party and invite the entire neighbourhood. I hate phlegm that's lodged so deep that no amount of bulimic sounds I make can get rid of it. So in a bid to overcome this discomfort, I've been forcing myself to take medicine regularly instead of relying solely on natural healing process. However, that resulted in my head feeling numb and an overwhelming urge to bang my forehead on the table. Being sick is one of the worst things to happen to me because it means I end up working and feeling less than 100%.
I have a deep set fear of becoming physically inactive because it means more restrictions to an already suffocating, rule-dominated life. I sprained my right shoulder from a break fall mishap and subsequent days were spent in agony as I gently rolled my injured shoulder to keep it from becoming frozen. While I disliked having my movements restricted, I disliked pain more so I endured. On one particularly bad night when I wanted to roll over to a more comfortable position in bed, I was jolted out of sleep and I finally burst into tears. Not from pain, but from frustration. Just as well that I was already crying since I spent the next couple of minutes waving my arm wildly in all directions because I was determined not let the pain stop me from gaining control of my normal self. I woke up the next morning with only a dull ache and I had a weird triumphant grin the rest of the day convinced that I successfully shocked my body into cooperating.
I don't suppose it's a good idea to hit my throat or gurgle hot water to get rid of phlegm. But I'm open to experiment if I do not feel any better. |
