Ageless
Friday, June 30, 2006
Since Hitomi entered my life, I graduated from the strain of waiting for public transport to the arduous task of hunting for available parking spaces. Admittedly, I enjoyed the convenience of zipping all over Singapore, and avoid having to sweat buckets in its humid weather. However, that also meant that I bypass the little things that come along during my quiet walks home.
Feeling restless, I left Hitomi behind as I walked into town to collect my replacement gym card. On the way back, I passed a vendor selling ice cream for just a dollar.
List of flavour includes local varieties like red bean and yam. Buyers can choose having their ice cream in a cup, sandwiched between thin wafers or wrapped in a slice of bread.
I quickly made my choice. For one dollar, I had a huge slab of raspberry ice cream and a whispered 'thank you' from an old seller with a gentle smile.
As usual, my stomach reacted quicker than my brain. By the time the idea to take a picture of my sweet indulgence popped in, there were already a couple of ugly bite marks on it. Coincidentally, I stopped right in front of a mega giant antithesis to the pushcart store. Having to ponder between premium decadence (with an equally premium price tag) and budget-friendly light goodness, I was contented with the choice in my hand. Given the charmingly local feel of ice cream pushcart stores dotted around the island, I think I can continue to have my $1 ice cream fix for a long time.
Walking with added springs in my steps, I delighted at how quiet the roads were. Even with my pace slowed to half its speed, I still passed several people. Then as I was ready to overtake another group, I just had to stop and stalk.
Doesn't it remind one of a familiar picture on selected notebooks?
I've grown immune to lovely-dovey dating couples and married folks. But this heart-warming sight gave bitter-sweet feelings. I've asked myself many times whether I can ever be fortunate enough to share this stage of bliss with someone.
I wanted to take a 20 questions Soul Mates test I found online once upon a time, but never managed to complete it because I got lazy, complacent and eventually disheartened. My faltered faith is not with Love, but with its agents. Young loves bubble over with raw energy but without maturity to control that passion, it can burn. Long time loves with intimacy can also fall apart because people take each other for granted. A married life does not guarantee security either. Just ask those who strayed.
My parents had their share of quarrels and cold wars but for two headstrong people, they are still going strong. High-strung Mom becomes relaxed whenever Dad is in her presence while Dad never forgets to send flowers to Mom every Anniversary. There were also a couple of times I saw Mom snuggling up to Dad on the sofa.
However, couples in their golden years are more endearing because they are like a complete entity. With surface beauty all faded, what is left is seeing beauty in each other's souls. You can also put them in a three-legged race and it would look like they have been doing that all their lives, completely in sync with each other. Call it coincidence, but noticed the old couple's foot steps? The man looked like a fast walker because he is always slightly ahead of his wife but since she walked with a limp, he remained by her side.
I envy couples with more than 40 years of togetherness. Precious gems such as Ruby, Emerald and Diamond that mark these milestones were selected for a reason. Gems take a long time to form but they are everlasting. Moreover, trials and tribulations polished them into becoming the glittering perfections that they are.
My grandparents belong to an era where showing tiny affections such as holding hands in public were unconventional so they show it differently, my paternal grandfather (Dad's Father= DF) teased his wife mercilessly in front of friends and family. Couple of times, it went overboard so she leaned over and hit him firmly on his arm. He would chuckle and then stopped his teasing. At least for the day.
It was just over a decade since he passed on, and Alzheimer's disease is slowly eroding DM (Dad's Mom) once sharp mind. As she slipped deeper into memory lapses to the point of forgetting the names of her grandchildren, she could remember, her eyes still brimming with tears, DF in vivid detail.
And there is my maternal grandmother (Mom's Mom = MM). I could not remember my maternal grandfather (MF) because he passed away when I was barely 2 years old. However, MM keeps a picture of him in her purse and whether she opens it, it's the first thing she sees. Mom said that even till now, MM still thinks of him everyday.
Both grandmothers hang on tightly to memories of their loves because without these memories, it is as good as not existing most their lives and being dead for the rest. I cannot imagine living a life as the one who survived the partner. Having to live each year at a time and wondering if it's going to be the year I reunite with my love. I wish for my life partner's health to remain robust long enough so that he can throw in the towel at the same time as I and we don't have to separate for too long. Maybe only a couple of minutes apart, just like twins at birth. We'll look like we're asleep in each other's arms just like any lazy Sunday as we transcend from this world to the next - together, hand in hand. I can go into greater details during the final ten minutes but I'll stop before I turn too morbid. Here we have people fantasising about weddings, and I fantasise about death...
I guess something as precious as Love is at its most beautiful when it is also at its most fragile. Not because of its decline, but of Life's transience.
Nevertheless, in all its forms, some things remain ageless.
|In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes.
How do you measure a year in the life?
How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love
Seasons of love
- Rent
